Well, that’s three.

Don Knotts, Darren McGavin, and Dennis Weaver.

Mercy. Who’s Number 3?

Don Knotts, Darren McGavin - these things always happen in threes.

I thought he was perfect for the part of Karl Kolchak way back when. It’s a pity how the good series always seem to die on the vine.

Motivator: Inspire! Motivate! Mock!

Remember those cheesy motivational posters from the 90’s? Well, now you can make your own.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

Goodbye, Barney Fife.

He was a dork, but one of the last of the truly good guys. And he will be missed.

No, can’t prosecute the protected Homosexual class:

“Wiseman led a support group for teenagers until the allegations were made,” said the Rev. (!?!?!?!?!) Susan Parker, a local gay activist.

‘She decided that she wanted to step away from that until these allegations are cleared,’ Parker said.

Parker said that the situation has been frustrating.

‘Here’s a teacher with master- teacher certification who’s sitting on the sidelines at a time when we need every teacher we can get, particularly master teachers like Susan. I would think it would be incumbent on the legal system to move forward with this as quickly as possible,’ she said.”

Oh, I agree, Susan. This predator should be bounced out of the profession and have her license and certification pulled for life as soon as possible so she can be replaced by a worthy Master Teacher who might not have a job right now. It’s outrageous that this unknown is being forced to wait as long as they have by this long and arduous…

Um..Susan? That is what you mean, isn’t it? I mean, you really aren’t defending the right of a predatory adult who has already shown themselves unable to refrain from inapproprite, unethical, and illegal sexual contact with their charges to actually stay in such a position?

Are you?

Teacher Accused of Sex With 11-Year-Old

Eleven.

Eleven.

Imagine, for an instant, you who have young daughters, coming home and finding a 36 year old man slipping the sausage to your eleven year old daughter. I will submit to the reader that if you can’t muster similar outrage when confronted with the idea of some woman having sex with your eleven year old son - well, let me just say if I were a judge, and you expressed such sentiments to me, I’d be terminating your parental rights so fast it’d make your head spin.

You know, I just do not get it.

I can look at a female child and say, “She’s going to be a heartbreaker when she grows up” but for the life of me, I cannot understand sexual thoughts towards a prepubescent girl - or a child of any sex. It just blows my mind. Even early bloomers. They still look young, and behave young. Even 16 year old or older teens might be able to disguise the youth with enough makeup and sophisticated dress, but they give themselves away in minutes if you converse with them. They just .. I don’t know what it is. But it makes my skin crawl. I mean, just sickens me.

Someone could concieveably make an argument for a student teacher, intern, TA who was young enough having a thing for a 17 or 18 year old. Yes, it’s technically wrong, but it’s not creepy. Move past about 22, and the ick factor starts to kick in. Move below 17 on the other end, same thing. It’s fetishistic.

And there are people who defend this stuff. And it’s not the NMBLA crowd, though it might as well be.

I’ve read on feminist blogs very strident and impassioned defenses of girls as young as 12 to be in charge of their own sexual behavior, and what kills me with those arguments is that once you make them a mature agent you must, by extension, approve of their choice in partner, no matter what their age. I have a 12 year old niece. And she’s as pretty as the day is long, and an early bloomer too. Give her the clothes and makeup, she could pass for an upperclassman. And she is in no way ready for even a 16 year old boy, let alone a grown man. Yes she’s smart, and all that - but she is not ready to make those choices for herself. Nobody is. Her mother and father are the ones to make those choices, not her.

And let’s even say that there are a few who are ready, physically and emotionally. Fine and dandy. Here’s the sticker - how do you construct the law to still protect those who can’t make those choices for themselves to give freedom to a minority so scant as to be statistically zero?

It’s a rhetorical question. You can’t.

Several years ago I was a roommate in a house where there was a woman with a 19 year old son. Down the block lived a 14 year old girl. And let me tell you, this girl was ready to party. She wanted that young man, and wanted him bad - and I came home one day to hear them upstairs, and she was not screaming in pain. I know what a fem,ale orgasm sounds like. And she was having a hum-dinger.

She was digging it. And she wanted it. And wanted it badly.

(Follow up, yes I reported it, and yes, they both denied it, and since I did not actually catch them flagrante delicto, they denied it, so no prosecution was made)

The point I am making with this is that no matter how “good” it feels, and how much anyone may want it, there is an age where there is no right to do so. Hell, reefer feels good, and we don’t even give mature people the right to want it.

And what is sad - absolutely pathetic - is that I have to make anologies and illustrate the point with young females and older males to get any sense of outrage. You get a adolescent boy and an older woman, and there is tittering, “Mrs. Robinson” comments, and excuses made. And it’s from the same people who will say that a boy doesn’t emotionally mature as fast as a girl, and will argue that a fifteen year old girl isn’t ready, emotionally, for a sexual relationship with an adult male, but somehow a younger, and even less emotionally mature boy, is ready to have sex with a thirty something woman.

No, no, no, and no. This is as dumb as a sack of hammers. It’s sick.

And yes, I had sex at a young age. And know what? It fucked me up. I had a sick woman seduce me at 12 by shaming me, asking me if I was gay, or liked boys, when I didn’twant to. I had a big problem relating, after that, to girls my own age, and it took me years - YEARS - to adjust. Hell, sometimes I wonder if I have ever adjusted, or just grew into the type of women who attracted me.

This woman is sick. Sick and twisted. She is a monster, who has screwed this kid up, and she needs to be locked away, and have her shit sold to pay for the therapy this boy will require.

God almighty. What is it with these women lately going after young boys? I mean, Jumpin’ Jesus on a Pogo-Stick, I lived through an era where yeah, we had some of thatgoing on, but it was always the 21, 22 year old student teachers and the seniors, not 30-ish women and junior high students. Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot. WTF? This is turning into an epidemic. Hell, I hear as much of this - and sometimes more - than male teachers going after their students anymore.

You know, I used to highlight these things as a reaction to the demonization of men; I intended to show that it wasn’t an exclusive trait confined solely to men, and moreso, that such things in any event comprised a fraction of a percent of the population anyway. But this is turning into a fuckin’ epidemic. Do these women really believe that they are immune to being caught or punished? Is it a sense of entitlement? What?

Help me out, folks. Help me make sense of this.

36. And 11.

God help us all.

Basic Truths About Jack Bauer

Killing Jack Bauer doesn’t make him dead. It just makes him angry.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then you better believe it’s beef.

Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Let’s get one thing straight: the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.

Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer hates lemonade.

Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

Osama bin Laden’s recent proposal for truce is a direct result of him finding out that Jack Bauer is, in fact, still alive.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer doesn’t miss. If he didn’t hit you it’s because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables.

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better do it.

Jack Bauer won the Tour de France on a unicycle to prove to Lance Armstrong it wasn’t a big deal. He thinks yellow wristbands are gay.

When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction.

Jack Bauer’s favorite color is severe terror alert red. His second favorite color is violet, but just because it sounds like violent.

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Jack Bauer jumps out.

When Google can’t find something, it asks Jack Bauer for help.

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald’s breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with “

Fellow inmate says Andrea Yates told her how to ‘act’ sick

Oh, God help us all. I’m about to vomit from the ntics of this sick bitch.

I mean, Publik Skools were good enough for Chelsea…

Um, okay. So that’s not true.

Well I guess if you’re not some snobbish, elitist, rich lawyer who can afford to send her daughter to Sidwell Friends School, you just have to suck it up.

Besides - vouchers? To just anybody? Why, Chelsea might have kids soon, and that would mean MS. Rodham-Clinton’s grandchildren might have to go to school and rub elbows with commoners and darkies. Lord knows we can’t have THAT, can we?

Smug, self-righteous, elistist bitch.

And they will come.

I went and saw the clip - yeah. Those are the Aussies I have come to know and love.

feministing.com:

Ah, the whinge-fest about PB abortion begins; listen to how banning the murder of viable unborn children will spell chains and slavery for women everywhere; and of course, the tired fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a fraction of a percent ancedote is trotted out immediately.

I especially love “feministingposter” a few down

“Speaking as a white adult male, I wish men would just shut the hell up about abortion. The issue belongs to women, and only women. If you can’t help, just shut the hell up with your BS moralizing and judgemental attitudes.

Well, “Mister” adult white male - if you are any of them - I will be happy to, if and when, and only if and when the sole consequences and responsibility for those “choices” likewise belong with women.

Bin Laden Vows Never to Be Captured Alive

Hmm.

Damned sporting of him. I suggest we grant him his wish.

It Figures

You scored as Deep Space Nine (Star Trek). You have entered the dark side of the Star Trek universe. The paradise of Earth is far from you and you must survive despite having enemies on all fronts. But you wouldn�t have it any other way because you thrive in conflict and will know what needs to be done to take care of those around you. Now if only the Founders would quit trying to take over the galaxy. Deep Space Nine (Star Trek) 88% Nebuchadnezzar (The Matrix) 81% Serenity (Firefly) 81% Babylon 5 (Babylon 5) 81% Galactica (Battlestar: Galactica) 81% Millennium Falcon (Star Wars) 69% SG-1 (Stargate) 69% Moya (Farscape) 63% Bebop (Cowboy Bebop) 56% FBI’s X-Files Division (The X-Files) 50% Enterprise D (Star Trek) 50% Andromeda Ascendant (Andromeda) 44% Your Ultimate Sci-Fi Profile II: which sci-fi crew would you best fit in? (pics) created with QuizFarm.com

*sigh*

I am a geek.

Another little piece of fascism, brought to you courtesy of the pro-”Choice” gang:

Wal-Mart Ordered to Stock Emergency Contraception

Pro-”Choice” as long as you are making THEIR choice. If you’re making your own choice, screw the freedom of a PRIVATE company to stock and sell what a private company wants.

One more reason we call them femiNAZIS.

Please clear something up for me vis-a-vis “NBC’s Gregory Eats Crow”, I quote: “‘Does the vice president have a responsibility to the American people to inform them of his public and private activities?’””

Now, back in the day when William Jefferson Blythe Clinton was getting his knob polished by a direct subordinate (Sexual harassment, illegal, his own law he pushed) intern young enough to be his daughter in the oval office, we were snootily informed that even “The President” was entitled to a private life which had nothing at all to do with his ability to govern, and it was all “None Of Our Business.” (Intone stern, lecturing tone)

So - which is it?

Were you full of shit then - or are you full of shit now?

Follow the Link for the complete exchange.

Diane Abdala, Esq.
Dumbass of the Month

Bets on how long it takes for this to be played as racist, or sexist, or some other bullshit?

For those with enough real world experience - well, I can see you (The Mighty Gonz sees all, and knows all!) now nodding your heads sagaciously. For those still a bit wet behind the ears - Do NOT be a Diane.

Bla, bla, bla, indeed.

I have a simple sauce for the goose/sauce for the gander philosophy.

To wit:

Any person capable of so much as working at McDonalds and living at the “Y” who demands or takes “spousal support” is a loser, a parasite, and a dreg of humanity who is usuing up valuable oxygen. Nick Lachey is no exception by virtue of his gonads. While I must confess to a small amount of amusement at watching some rich-bitch get dunned for Alimony, I’m more amused, though, at the logical gymnastics many of these neuvo-feministas go through to condemn Nick seeking it, where they would be breaking out the pom-poms for a group “You GO, Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl!” if the situation were 180 degress reversed.

I content myself with logical and philosophical consistancy: Alimony seeking women: Scum. Nick Lachey: Scum.

It makes my life so much easier.

Sheriff: Dick Cheney Won’t Face Charges

Well, let’s see…

So far we have a shooting where the victim says “No big deal.”

We have an immediate report to Law Enforcement, an incident report filed with the TDNR/TDFW (See “The Smoking Gun”), and transporting the victim (Whittington) to a public Hospital, where they are bound to report gunshot accidents.

Yeah - if that’s a cover up, it’s the most inept one in the history of mankind.

And we also have a bunch on candy-ass beltway reporters in a snit because Dick Cheney trusted the Corpus Christi paper more than them to get the facts right, and trusted FOX more than anyone to get the story out to the most people in an unbiased fashion.

Of course, panty-waste liberal pussies who wouldn’t know a stock from a muzzle are all in a tizz as well - well, because they just hate Dick Cheney.

Nothing to see here folks. Move along, move along….