Fucking wanker. Welcome to Hell, terrorist scum.

If I’d laughed any harder, I’d have crapped myself.

Just got back in - hmmm - only five bitter old feminists who have publically expressed their intent to never have sex with me.

Gee, my heart breaks.

I am incommunicado.  Outta here.  Gone fishing.  Vacation.

Actually, beating a few thousand of my dearest friends with a stick.

No - that is not a joke.

I really need this vacation - BAD.

Try not to tear the place up.  Aw, hell - what does it matter?  I run the cheapest dive on the Internet.  Bullet holes, graffiti, and broken windows actually increase the property values.

With a host of furious fancies

Whereof I am commander,

With a burning spear and a horse of air,

To the wilderness I wander.

By a knight of ghostes and shadowes

I summon’d am to tourney

Ten leagues beyond the wild world’s end.

Methinks it is no journey.